On the flip side...

So I'm looking to avoid my mistake from last year - forgetting to post this until the parsha passed. As such it's going up now, a week early. I hope you enjoy this thought. It was based on an idea by Rav Aaron Leibowitz and became a devar torah for Shir Chadash (R' Ian Pear's shul).

So...

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Understanding Yaakov and Eisav is not so easy. In the text we have precious little information regarding the relationship of Yaakov and Eisav. For all the stories that revolve around them and the stories that medrashim give us, we have only two dialogs between the brothers. One, the selling of the bechorah and two the reconciliation in parshat Vayishlach.

In the reconciliation story, after Eisav accepts Yaakovs gift and things seem settled he makes Yaakov an offer. “Let us travel forth from here together” says Eisav. Yaakov responds that he can't travel quite as fast due to his children and flocks of sheep and tells Eisav that he will go at the pace dictated by his family but will catch up with him down the road in Sei'r. Eisav offers the services of his men, Yaakov politely refuses and Eisav moves on.

So Eisav really tried and tried to work with Yaakov. What was the issue? Why did Yaakov turn him down?

R' Aaron Leibowitz mentioned to me the Zohar's comments on this story and they are indeed worth sharing. The Zohar (172a) on these verses writes that this discussion has a subtext of world history. (The following is a paraphrase of the Zohar:)

Eisav (the nation of Edom) offers Yaakov (the nation of Israel) to go out in the world together - “Your brains and my looks. Together we'll be quite a team.” Yaakov responds that right now he has other priorities. He has children and flocks and must go according to their needs.

What needs? These children and flocks are the mission of Yisroel in this world. The children are the people who do the job and the nation's continuity. The flocks of sheep are the work to be done. Yaakov has different priorities than his brother. He looks at this world and sees he has a job to do and must move at a pace appropriate for that job.

Yaakov tells Eisav that in the future they will meet up. The Zohar notes the place (Sei'r) and reminds us of the posuk in Ovadiyah (1:21) “Volu moshiim b'Har Tzion lshpot et Har Eisav – Vhayah la'Hashem hamelucha”. Har Eisav is Har Sei'r, his inheritance. This is a prophetic reference to the end of days when we can be together - Yisroel and Eisav.

The Zohar offers us here our response to the world around us. The world offers us assimilation and wants us to join forces with them. It's a good idea and there is a time and place for it but not yet. For now we go at our own pace with our own values. For now, as Jews, we still have work to do.

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So that was the vort that I shared two years ago at Shir Chadash. I'm glad I am able to share it with you here as well. This blog is a wonderful little outlet for all my different sides. Thank you for listening. Whoever you are.

Over the past few years one of the hot topics in the Orthodox Jewish community is that of kids-at-risk. Half of the people are talking about the problem itself and how we can deal with it and half the people are talking about how wonderful it is that we are no longer denying this long-standing problem and are facing up to the challenge. How nice.

After seeing many articles in newspapers and magazines about this phenomenon and being involved in chinnuch and with "troubled teens" of different sorts for close to a decade I have a question.

Why do all the articles/books written on these topics link breaking from religion to drug and alcohol abuse? The story is always about the high school kids from (Golders Green / LA / Monsey / Englewood) who stop keeping shabbos and are soon found shooting heroin in an abandoned house. Or at the very least smoking a joint Friday night behind the pizza parlor. Why do we not address each issue separately?

The two are not connected! Yes, the problems overlap and coexist but correlation does not imply causation. (Just because lots of people eat gefilte fish and eat cholent does not mean that eating gefilte fish causes the eating of cholent)

There are two maskonos I will suggest here.

One, there is a reality of boys and girls who grow up in the frum world who never really connected and as adults walk away. This is a flaw in our chinnuch system and in our community. The response given to these children, teens, and adults must not only come from the substance-abuse community. It may not be as intuitive a response because the problem is less blatant, but these neshomos deserve appropriate help for their challenges.

Two, there is a problem with substance-abuse in our community as in all communities. The shuls that are banning “Kiddush clubs” should not only be doing it because it is bad chinnuch for our children. There should be an acknowledgement of these challenges for all ages. Perhaps community leaders and educators need to be even more vigilant regarding the adults in our communities who have the resources to both buy and use alcohol and drugs easily and discreetly.

Stopping drug use will stop drug use.

Proper Jewish education will raise educated Jews.

Please stop confusing the issues!